MY HISTORY AS A FATHER
God broke me when I recognized that I wanted my kids to be like me as a Christian and minister like me.
Much of what I did in my relationships with them was in expectation of wanting them to follow my footsteps.
I had a selfishly religious spirit with an angry edge. I had a holier than thou attitude especially with TV.
Fear will cause you to react in anger. Many times I reacted to my children with anger because I feared that they were not following in the footsteps of what I thought a Christian should be like. I had an angry fearful edge towards them.
Don’t try to mold your children into your image of a Christian.
Trust God and let Him mold them into what He wants for them.
A FATHER AND HIS CHILDREN
A father must learn to quickly forgive and to quickly ask for forgiveness when wrong.
This is a huge lesson that I learned with my children.
I have asked my kids to forgive me many times.
Forgiveness is not saying that you are sorry. It goes deeper than. A father must learn to ask for forgiveness from his children when wrong.
Your family is always a team. Your family is your first ministry. God will not give you a ministry in the church until you have adequately learned to minister to your family.
Communication is essential. Be transparent and honest before your children.
Preach little and live your life before them. Have a good time with your family.
Support the individual dreams of my children. Be there for them on their special occasions.
Your children are not called to follow our dreams unless it’s something that God put in their hearts.
Be a servant to your children.
Always let your children know that God and His will, always come first. The blessing upon a family will be proportional to its obedience to God by putting Him first.
A father who puts his family above God’s will run into problems. This is when a father makes his family into an idol.
Put your family second after God, but always before your job, church and ministry.
Let your children know that even in their very worst sin you will love them, never reject and be there for them.
It’s demonic when family members cut each other off for a host of reasons.
Welcome your kids to stay and live at home as long as they want to, that is until they get married.
Let them always feel welcomed to stay. Even when married let them know that this is their home.
If so, they will never want to seek a home somewhere else.
Let your kids know that you are their best friend. Children who know that their parents are their best friends will never look for the wrong friends elsewhere.
Let them know that they can share with you all things that they do, even the bad, the good and the ugly, and that they will never be rejected for them. If they know this, they will not keep secrets from you and do these secretive things in the wrong places.
If a child knows that they can come to you with everything good, bad and ugly, they won’t be tempted to do things in darkness and in the company of evil men.
A FATHER AND HIS WORLD
Pr 29:25 The fear of man bringeth a snare, but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.
Become free from the fear of men but always fear God.
Not obeying God the first time is disobedience.
Be willing to lose your earthly reputation as a man pleaser. Become a fool for Christ.
Ga 1:10 For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet sought to please men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
A father is not a people please but a God pleaser. By that I mean that He will put God first.
A father is not politically correct but God correct. He is a world changer and a revivalist.
A father does not compromise the word of God under any circumstance.
2Ti 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
A father must be a student of the Word of God, and disciple of Jesus Christ. The lack of a foundation of the Word of God in the church is its greatest problem.
If your Bible studies are limited to a Bible program on a smart phone you will never be free.
A father is at the very least a tither. He who does not tithe to the Lord will sooner or later run into financial problems.
I have always tithed to God on my gross and have never run into financial problems since 1979. Instill that in your children and others.
A FATHER AND HIS SPIRITUAL CHILDREN
A Father is A Heart Knower
Ac 1:24 And they prayed and said, “Thou, Lord, who knowest the hearts ( the heart knower of all) of all men, show us which of these two Thou hast chosen,
A father is not religious but rather a listener and knower of all hearts.
He must embrace and accept unconditionally.
He does not embrace the sin, but the sinner.
He loves unconditionally and accepts unconditionally. That is not an acceptance of the sin but of the person.
A father is not religious but genuine.
He is authentic, and is not scared to make mistakes if he knows that he is willing to correct them.
Jas 1:19 Therefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
A father is a good listener. He can learn to speak less than he listens.
Ps 16:11 Thou wilt show me the path of life; in Thy presence is fullness of joy; at Thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
Transparency and realness to you who you are is a sign of wholeness. Be real to yourself. Let people know you for who you are. A father is on his way to wholeness.
Nothing brings wholeness faster than knowing what the Word of God says and the presence of God.
The opposite of pain is laughter and joy. The presence of Jesus is the pinnacle of laughter, pleasure and joy. Pain must dissolve where there is persistent laughter and joy. There is point in Jesus where every trace of pain caused by sin and brokenness departs. This should be the goals of fathers.
A father does not legislate Biblical morality to the sinner but draws people to Christ by demonstrating the Father’s love to them.
A father is ready to deal with a host of different people and show the fathers love to them.
A father who is free and whole does not become easily offended.
He rises above the offenses of others and never cuts off anyone because of their sin. Even when hurt by another he will not shut them out. He will be there for them in the midst of hurt.
A father must have a focus on the younger generations.
There is a responsibility to pass the baton. There is a responsibility to disciple and mentor.
You and I will die. We must make disciples of those behind us. This is part of the legacy of a father.
2Ti 4:2 preach the Word. Be instant in season and out of season. Reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
A real father should be able to lovingly confront, and rebuke and reprove with all authority in love.
The love of God many times is not icky sweet and sugary.
Be able to lovingly confront, rebuke and reprove when sin is present.
A FATHER AS A LEADER
God is looking for fathers who will be leaders.
I am tired of seeing men in the church whose wives have to lead them, and pull them up by their bootstraps.
This is demonic and tragic and is an attack on the family.
Every father should forge his own way with the Lord. Don’t be as follower. Blaze your own trail.
You have something great to give. Don’t copy somebody else’s message.
Make a difference, leave a legacy.
Php 3:12 It is not as though I had already attained it, nor were already perfect; but I follow after, that I may sieze hold of that for which Christ Jesus also seized hold of me.
Eph 5:16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Be a doer. Don’t waste time. Redeem the time because the days are evil.