How To Have A Great Marriage !

My wife Mary and I will celebrate 27th year of marriage in 2015.

We have had a problem free marriage. By that I mean, no unresolved issues have ever lingered.

We have never gone to sleep with unsettled problems

We have never had an argument that was not fixed that day.

Are we special? Of course not!

Am I perfect? Just ask my children!

The key to success is putting God and His will always first.

Mary and I met in 1986 in church, after her return from the mission fields.

We discovered that God had crossed our tracks several times.

Our paths intersected at North Miami Beach Elementary School in 1962.

I attended there after leaving Cuba.

At the school I learned English during the Cuban missile crisis and practiced ducking under desks in case it became real.

Right after leaving North Beach, little Mary also attended.

In 1977, my family moved from the Virgin Islands, to Key Biscayne, Florida.

My parents got a rental on Island Drive.

I discovered that Mary’s family left Island Drive, just before our arrival. Is this coincidence or divine destiny? I believe the latter, from a God who knows beginning to end.

If you are single, and love the Lord, be encouraged today!

God has that perfect one for you, like he had for me.

It’s much better to be single who loves Jesus, than to be married, love Jesus, but be married to a guy who hates him.

I have frequently observed single Christian women who love Jesus are happier than married Christian women who love Jesus, because their unbelieving husbands pull them down.

Enjoy your singlehood, loving and serving Jesus. Trust me, you are much better off. Fret not; God has that perfect one for you. Wait for him. Don’t focus on marriage, focus on Him.

I understand the loneliness of Christian singlehood. My advice is that you become married to Jesus. Draw close to and become filled with His Spirit. Most of your loneliness will leave.

God brought Mary, when I was contented to be single, even if it was to be so for the rest of my life. I was enthralled and in love with Jesus. I had forgotten about marriage, when my sweet Mary came.

I recommend, not to date, but wait for God’s one to come. I have seen many a good Christian fall into the pit of immorality. The flesh is weak, and God knows that. The problem with falling into immorality is that the devil’s condemnation last for months and severely injures the Christian’s walk.

Mary and I became great friends but presumed that God had destined us for others.

On the same day that I passed my FCC broadcasting test which I had failed twice, God opened our eyes. This was 1987. Now we knew that God was calling us to marriage. God knows how to open doors, and keep them shut. When you are in His will, He can move with blazing speed.

After three dates, we knew the calling to marriage and obeyed. Six months later we wed.   We were not in love when we married. We joined in obedience to God. The falling in love came after tying the knot.

From the beginning, Mary and I prayed together. Prayer is not simply talking to God. This prayer is about listening to God’s voice, His will, and then obeying.

We’ve learned the secret that in everything by doing the will of God and by laying ours down, things always turns out right.

We have done many crazy things in the Name of the Lord. But like cats which are constantly dropped from third floors, God makes us land on all fours.

God does not have two voices. He only has one . If a couple hears two things, something is wrong. This means that multiple agendas have not been surrendered to embrace God’s one. But this is the secret to a good marriage! Always, and in everything, couples lay down your will, and embrace God’s. He has one voice and one will. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all things that you wish for will be added to you.

Always put parents, children, and families, second, to God and His will. This sounds harsh, but it’s huge. I have seen many put fathers and mothers and children before God and His will, to destructive results. Family idolatry is one of the most damaging things in Christianity. If we put Him above all, He blesses our parents and children with the very best.

Mary and I are entirely honest with each other. We do not keep secrets. Good communication is critical. Talking things out and praying them through is crucial.

As a family, God taught us to be a team. We have endeavored to do as much as possible together. Our children come before ministry. We let them find their own way with the Lord. We don’t ask them to copy our Christian walk.

God is so great, if we always put Him first! You won’t go wrong.

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How to be Single and Love It?

This is how my spiritual journey began, a long time ago.

In 1979, my father hired me to be an insurance clerk in Miami.

My life had hit the rock bottom. I was twenty five.

I went to see a respected lady psychologist who had treated me in Cuba twenty years earlier for a severe speech impediment.

Now in her 70’s, I told her how messed up my life was.

She said to me “Jose, get close to God.”

At that moment a light darted through me. I knew that this was the answer to stop the free fall that my life was on.

Next to my father’s office was an Episcopalian church which was opened.

I was broken, fearful, and helpless.

During lunch breaks, I went to this empty church and prayed to the God whom I did not know.

I had been doing spiritual searching and had read about tarot cards.

I did not know if God was Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Krishna or Confucius.

For ten days I went to the church, got on my knees and cried out to the roof for help and mercy.

Nothing happened; there were no bright lights, or bells or whistles, just stark silence.

On about the tenth day a Presence of the sweetest, most innocent, and delightful love came upon and enveloped me.

I knew that this Presence loved me, would be my best friend, and was pure, innocent, and trustworthy.

I was so hungry for more encounter.

I visited the church and came into contact again with this wonderful being.

I was to realize that this was the magnificent Holy Spirit.

As the encounters continued I was compelled to go to the nearby Christian bookstore and purchased a Living Bible.

As the months progressed I recognized that this was Jesus, not Mohammed, not Buddha nor the crystals, not the energy and not Krishna.

This glorious Presence had drawn me only to Jesus! I had a born again experience all by myself.

Jesus then instructed me to practice celibacy until He brought me my wife.

This was to be the most frustrating part of my relationship with God.  I obeyed Him though the cost was high.

If I would have known that celibacy was to last nine years, I would have left Jesus. But He kept it hidden from me.

I gave my life to God at the age of twenty-five but got married at thirty-four.

Coming out of a life of mega partying and into one of hyper celibacy, was more than what I bargained for, almost more than I could endure.

Many a time I become furious with God.

Many were the incidents of desperation, extreme loneliness, plentiful tears, and bitterness at God.

To make it worse, everyone in church was getting married before me.

It took me so long to get married because I was so messed up. Bound up in years of pornography, drugs, booze and epic insecurities, it took God a long time to clean me up.

In loneliness and desperation I attempted to force God’s arm.

Embarking on a seven-day fast, I knew that God would now give me my wife.

The Lord was hushed until my first bite of food after seven days, and said “NO”.  That got me even angrier at Him.

I empathize with single people who long for marriage. It was not easy.

Many a time I wanted to walk away from Jesus, but knew that I could not find a love like His.

After years of wetting my pillow with tears, God led me into a journey which changed my life.

“Jose”, He said, “become married to me”. “Fall in love with me.”

I spent more time with God on my knees and in His Word. I became so utterly thrilled with Him, so full of Him, that I did not want a wife.

Part of me no longer wanted marriage so that I could remain free to serve Him.

I was so happy.

Life was now one humongous love adventure with Jesus.

It was at this point that my lovely wife Mary came to me in 1986.

She was missionary from England. God had brought her via Colombia through Puerto Rico and to my church in Miami.

When I met her, I had little interest in getting married.

We were the best of friends for one and half years before God opened our eyes.

We went out on three dates, were married six months later, and have four beautiful children.

By earthly standards, we have a picture perfect marriage.

Of course we have our arguments. However, in twenty six years, we have never taken one to sleep.

We are always in harmony with the Lord, His voice and calling us.

We are more in love with each other than ever before.

We trust each other a hundred percent.

Our family is not broken. We enjoy dynamic relationships with our four adult children.

We are each others best friends.

We do not keep secrets.

We pray all major decisions and get God’s wisdom.

How can this be?

When my spiritual journey began, God had told me “Jose remain celibate and wait for your wife.” It was the toughest thing I have ever done, but how it’s paid off!

My wife and I am truly heaven’s match, the loving breath of God made incarnate. We are gloves which fit perfectly over two hands.

Can this happen for you? Of course. Wait on the Lord, and on the spouse which He has for you.

Get married and filled with Him, and before you know it He will bring His perfect one from the ends of the earth.


Mary and me getting married by Pastor Bert Hadas in May of 1988.